Over the last 2 weeks I have experiences serious and frightening headaches. Thunders and "lightening" shots of pain where driving me crazy every 5 minutes for more than a week.
My first thoughts where definitely " I am having a stroke" and then I went even more far on my fears " I might have brain cancer" .
I am someone who is not afraid of Death, I've never been, when the time has come, it is so and nothing can stop it.
My fear was more for my son, I am not ready to leave him alone (he has his dad) and I was terrified by the idea of dying next to him.
So I went to see the doctor, who finally insured me that I was just having an "Arnold" neuralgia. Nothing severe but still painful and scared the shit out of me.
What did I learned from this? Being alone sometimes is so frightening and now I understand people that would bare anything and anyone, just for the sake of loneliness.
It is concerning when you have a kid like mine (1 year and a half) and you're afraid that something like a stroke might happen.
What I've done? :) Went to see my next door neighbor, told him if he ever hears my baby cry more than an hour and if I don't answer my phone or the door within 10 minutes more, he should call 911 immediately.
He looked at me with his perfect old blue eyes and he asked:
-Do you think you're gonna dies or what?
I told him, I am not ready, but we never know what tomorrow might bring us.
I appreciated his concern, but mostly the look in his eyes, almost scared like mine. Then I realized, even if I am alone, I am not really that alone!
There is always a way, always someone who can hear your fears, even if is someone who doesn't know anything about you.
So, when you feel alone, abandoned, scared, powerless, trust me there is always a way, there is always someone out there.