Family basis

This article is based on true story. The person chose to remain anonymous  but she is here with us very often. 

'I became a mother quite late, due to my fears of being a bad mother. I knew since the day I married him that we will not end up together, but I chose to go with it, because it felt so. 

I knew he had a lesson for me, the experience that I will never forget with ups and downs and today I completely take it on me. 

We where different, we remained different. We changed so much and in totally opposite sides. 

I decided to be brave and not fear the future, so uncertain at that time and even today. 

 

We had our son 4 years after our marriage, when things where more likely on the good side of the road. Soon after Alex's arrival, he changed. He became anxious, stressed, angry, needy. 

I didn't get at the moment, he was seeking the same attention as our baby, but I couldn't. I couldn't share myself at equals and I knew Alex needed me more than him. 

You see, the bond between mother and child is done way before birth, but for the father is a little bit later.  That doesn't mean, they are not strong, is just a father's thing. Men relate so different to kids than women and the relationship is different but so important. 

 

Maybe this is what teared us apart or maybe we where since the beginning far away from each other. Now the distance got so high that we barely see the light at the tunnel. Actually we don't see it anymore. 

Just when we decided to go apart because it can be better for all of us, life gave us lemons, and we had no choice than  lemonade  :) When I've decided to go, I just found out that we are expecting a new member of the family. 

 

People think of me, like I am some kind of crazy lady who is not not aware of the future. Trust me I am 100% conscientious and aware of the consequences. I fully understand the changes of our lives and I accept the high level of tolerance needed in this situation. 

 

But this is me; this is how I chose to repair my past, this is how I chose to remain faithful to me, to the little girl crying days and nights wishing she's just disappear from this planet so she can no longer be "a drag" in others lives. 

This is me revenging the hard slaps over my face from this stranger who believed he is replacing my father. 

This is me revenging my coward mother who was not able to stand up for me when I needed her the most. 

This is me revenging 20 years of fear; fear of everything, everybody and nothing at the same time. 

 

I wish I would pick the wise zen words, and never use the word revenge.  This is a different revenge. I can do this, I can be happy, even after 20 years of darkness and I can do better than I thought.

 

No need to bring someone else is our lives and reconstruct something that is already build. Your true family is the one you create yourself. Count on you for that; you will have to keep it until the end. 

 

Even if we split up now or later, he will still be the father of my children and we will still be a family. "

 

I have to admit that I found her vision quite powerful and strange at the same time. We want to share her story because we know that she is not alone out there and maybe through us you can find each other easier and support. In France the 'monoparental' family is no longer tabu, 1 out of 5 families are single parents and today we need to find a way to support these people. 

Stay tuned, a new article with all the necessary info is about to come! 

 

Sincerely yours 

 

Reinvent Yourself 

 

 

 

 

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