The day you give in, is truly the day you die.
The closer we get to death, the desire to live gets stronger. Isn't it interesting how the " I want it, I don't want it anymore" phenomenon, still drives us crazy in our 30's?
I thought only toddles behave like this, but, it's an inner "setting" for most of us who had been emotionally insecure.
We are often labeled as "weak".
I'd rather say we are strong. We strived trough rain, thunderstorm, and "cold" times standing up for us when no one was there.
They say when you are disappointed is it because you had expectations right?
So you don't. That doesn't save you from the pain that you might experience you don't feel loved.
And here we go again; Love hurts!? Does love hurt?
Well, I am sorry to put out there for you, but love might hurt. There are no pink ponies and no fluffy cotton candy on a daily basis, neither with your lover, neither with your own family.
Love hurts: The mother waiting for her 15 teenage girls to come back home at midnight, wondering if she is ok and safe.
Love hurts for the parent experiencing rejection from his own child.
Love hurts, the toddler looking at you with tremendous tears, having a painful tantrum cause' he had a stressful long day and he is just a ticking mine.
Love hurts when your partner is no longer the same anymore, and you are too busy to see things are getting in other directions.
Love hurts when you decide to stay no matter what, even when admitting you are miserable, but don't want to be alone, and pretend is love.
Love hurts, when you don't have 5 minutes for yourself; to just look at yourself and breathe.
Love hurts when you know you want to move forward, however, is difficult when you have big responsibilities and you have to decide for 2 more people.
Love hurts when you lose one parent and the other one doesn't truly care about you, and everything is built on a lie that you have to maintain for the sake of love.
So what is love?
Dalai lama said it; "Love is the absence of judgement"
Great, How are we supposed to cope with this?
Start from scratch, everything. But take it slowly, step by step, so you can truly get there safe.
And even you when are rock bottom, take a minute and look at yourself. Don't be afraid to accept and embrace today.
Take it the way it is, and live it. It's painful? It will make you grow, you will learn more, learn how to deal and heal pain.
stop judging yourself for all the mistakes you've done or any decision you've made that haven't brought you what you've wanted.
It's making you happy, joyful? take it, embrace that moments! Grow happy wrinkles and be proud of them!
Until next time, let me leave you with this one;
“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” —James Altucher
Yours, Reinvent Myself